How do I cope? I started a magazine.
I’ve had personal experience with chronic conditions my entire life. But it wasn’t until last spring that I endured the most challenging time, thus far. It took a toll on me and ultimately, I felt lost. I started to look online for similar experiences to mine. I found virtual support groups, online creatives, and niche blogs. However, I yearned for a creative space that shared the highs and lows of chronic illness. I yearned to know, “How do people cope with their chronic illness?” -because I felt like I wasn’t doing a great job.
After a few months of flare, I retreated to my childhood home for the summer. I spent a lot of time meditating on what it meant to be chronically ill. While this was something I’ve known all my life, dealing with a new level of severity brought a lot of new feelings. To make sense of it all, I read many fictional tales of characters experiencing their own journeys of illness or challenges. Coming from a creative background as an illustrator and designer, I used art as an outlet to express how I felt. I felt seen, and that rekindled a small flame inside me.
And that’s when it hit me, there needs to be a collective space that’s just for us. A place where we can feel seen and heard through our stories. With my background in graphic design and health humanities, I knew I had the design and storytelling skills for a magazine. So, I decided to start my own.
As with any brand design, I did some research on other publications, but couldn’t find anything like what I was envisioning: a place where any art medium could be shared to talk about the highs, the lows, and everything in between. So, I spent a few days developing a mission, a visual brand, a name. I wanted COPE MAGAZINE to be welcoming, vibrant, and creative. I built a website, a TikTok, an Instagram and started posting. I asked two of my close friends to join me on the magazine and together, we put out the first call for submissions.
Two months later, we had 3k followers, 126 submissions, readers from 21+ countries, and had built an amazing online community. I was so surprised about the number of people who wanted to share their stories. Because of the volume of submissions, we published two incredible parts for Volume 1. Our inaugural issue was a kaleidoscope of stories sharing how people cope with chronic illness.
Still recovering months later, the flame in me started to burn brighter. I felt purpose by creating this magazine. I found a group of people who understood the complexity of emotions when grappling with chronic illness. Without a doubt, building this magazine and community has helped me more than anything else. Even though there’s uncertainty, I know that I have a community of people around me that get it. That spark of inspiration is feeding a new fire in me, and for that I’ll be forever grateful. It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore, and that’s why I’ll continue to build COPE MAGAZINE.
(Author note here. I was so honored to be accepted in Volume 1 of Cope Magazine. It is such a beautiful collection of art and writing. I highly recommend checking it out.)
Interview
Q: What diagnosis/es do you have, or are suspected of having?
A: I was diagnosed with a chronic condition at a young age, and I’ve picked up a few more along the way.
Q: What advice would you give to someone who is just starting down this road?
A: Have grace for yourself, things will fluctuate and that’s ok. You can still find moments of joy.
Q: What about for someone who has been doing this for years?
A: You are the only person who knows your body best.
Q: What have you learned about yourself through this process?
A: That I’m stronger than I think.
Q: What tools do you swear by for managing pain or symptoms?
A: I’m big on comfort. I don’t wear cute shoes, but super supportive sneakers that minimize my pain. I prioritize my sleep, no matter what. I drink lots of ginger tea. I know what my limits are physically and don’t push myself beyond. I layer my bed with pillows galore, the furriest throw blankets and fluffiest duvets possible. Other things that I love are electrolyte packets, my Warmie (stuffed animal), and my shower chair.
Q: Do you use any mobility aids? If so, what is your relationship like with them?
A: I’ve used cane or rollator during different periods of my life depending on needs that arise.
When first using them, it was more of an emotional barrier of societal and internal stigma that I had to work through. But I came to realize the aids helped during a time when I needed extra stability and support, in order to be functional and get me through the day- and that’s ok. It’s a good thing to make things easier for yourself when you can.
Q: What is your comfort show, book or music?
A: I love watching comedies, laughing is really good medicine. Sitcoms like Arrested Development, Parks and Rec, AP BIO, The Office, and Schitts Creek have kept me company on some dark days. When I’m super low energy, I enjoy very slow period pieces like Pride & Prejudice (2005). And yes, some nights I’ve played that movie back to back to back. Other things I enjoy are reading fantasy novels on my kindle and listening to calm atmospheric music!
Q: What are you most proud of?
A: COPE MAGAZINE has been the most meaningful project that I’ve created. It’s been so rewarding to see the positive impact it is having within the chronic illness community. I cherish the messages of thanks I have received for building a platform that gives this community a place to share their stories and feel seen.
Q: How do you manage stress?
A: I’m still learning! But things I do to help are: taking time to myself (I’m an introvert and often need time to recharge alone), escape into books, spend time with friends who don’t judge my chronic illness, paint, and take care of my plants. If all else fails, I just go to bed to reset -- tomorrow is a new day.
Q: If you could tell every doctor something, what would it be?
A: I know you’re busy and you have so many other patients to see, but, listen to me. Process what I say. Look at the full picture.
Q: Anything you would like to say to the readers?
A: I see you. I hear you.
